oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
