I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The air was thick with penises
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
