I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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