It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
