I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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