Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
