Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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