I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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