I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
