Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
