I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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