He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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