remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
