just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
