She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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