He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
