carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
