it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
