Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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