Dual....:-)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
