Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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