For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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