your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
