A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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