Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
