And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
