ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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