You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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