Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
