Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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