it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
