this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
