Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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