Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
