yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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