its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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