singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
