I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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