yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
