and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
