In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
