I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
