This is not my ceiling
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
