I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
