so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
