Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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