i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
