Moan for me like Helen Keller
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How's work?
Spinning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
