she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
