I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
