part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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